I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Do you have feelings for this penis?
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
