Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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