How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
