I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
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