I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
