I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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