If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
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