U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
