Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
