Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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