So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize
