Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize