I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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