he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
