I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
People in love make me want to vomit
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
