I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize