Did you just see the Batmobile???
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
