You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
