Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Randomize
