16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
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