sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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