Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize