Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize