There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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