went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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