11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
he high fived his dick after we had sex
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
