My first STD was from a foam party
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
third nipple confirmed
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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