I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
i will never coherently bang her
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
