to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
