talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Randomize
