Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Everyone says I win the strip club
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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