but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
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