"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Someone shit on the floor
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
