found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
