just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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