I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
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