I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Randomize
