never play flip cup with pint glasses
Say something about gay babies.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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