So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
