I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
