That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Randomize
