He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
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