...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
are you so shy because you have an std?
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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