If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
