Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
