I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Randomize
