Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
