I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
