Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
