I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
