her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
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