the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
