Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
