My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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