speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
